This was the title of an article in a prominent Christian publication. The subtitle was, “Use these proven prayer strategies to unleash a miracle.”
I am sure the author was sincere, but I can only imagine how many parents read the title and thought something like this: “Oh no, have I failed my grown child because I haven’t been praying the right way? Could I have turned them around if I had prayed correctly? I didn’t even know there were specific strategies for how I am supposed to pray for my kids!” Well, I hope I have a bit of good news for you - there isn’t. If you love your child and your heart has been aching for them to follow Jesus, then you have been praying correctly. If all you have been able to do is say, “Please, Lord,” then you have been praying the right way. Neither Jesus nor the apostles taught a correct way to pray for your child that will “unleash a miracle.” You haven’t been doing it wrong. If there is a wrong way to pray, it’s probably, “Force them to follow You, Lord!” That prayer won’t work. Pray for them the way you should pray for anyone else. “Lord, let Your goodness, Your kindness, Your unending love flood their hearts and minds so they will want to turn around and follow You.” Why is this a good way to pray? Because it’s the revelation of God’s unending love that causes anyone to choose to turn around (repent) and draw near to Him. Rom 2:4-5- “…do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” Eph 3:18-19- “And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.” Linda and I are the parents of a grown child who was a “prodigal” for decades but is now living in the peace and joy of a passionate relationship with Jesus who is living inside her. We understand the heart-crushing pain and overwhelming sense of helplessness that can torment a parent. And we were frequently at a loss for words. Often, our prayer was simply, “Help!” Here’s the good news. The Father loves them more than we do, and He is working in ways none of us can see…yet!
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Since the sudden, unexpected death of our son-in-law, Aaron, Amanda's husband and the father of Alli, Wesley, and Max, the question has been asked about grief in the life of believers. Since we know to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, and those who have died will be raised and live forever, is it right to grieve their death? Or is that a lack of faith? Since everyone dies, this is an important question and one that can cause deep guilt coupled with the grief of losing a loved one. Our answers must come from the New Testament since they deeply believed and lived in hope. Paul wrote in Philippians concerning a son in the faith who nearly died: “I have thought it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus my brother and fellow worker and fellow soldier, and your messenger and minister to my need, [26] for he has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill. [27] Indeed he was ill, near to death. But God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. [28] I am the more eager to send him, therefore, that you may rejoice at seeing him again, and that I may be less anxious.” -Phil 2:25-28 Paul would have had “sorrow upon sorrow” if Epaphroditus died. Acts 8:2 (ESV): “Devout men buried Stephen and made great lamentation over him.” They grieved over Stephen’s death even though they knew he was with the Lord. Acts 9:39 (ESV): “So Peter rose and went with them. And when he arrived, they took him to the upper room. All the widows stood beside him weeping and showing tunics and other garments that Dorcas made while she was with them.” They wept and grieved for those who they lost in this life. We do not grieve as those who have no hope. But we do grieve because of our love for those who are gone and the important role they played in our lives. Please do not put guilt on those who have lost so deeply. Weep with them. Stand by them. Trust the Holy Spirit to walk them through the process in His own time. As we walk this incredibly painful road with our daughter and grandchildren, we truly rejoice that Aaron is in the presence of his Savior and that one day we will see him again. But for a young wife who has suddenly had half of her "oneness" taken away and three young children who no longer have their daddy in this life, deep mourning and lament are simply part of the journey they are on.
The greatest gift that can be given to them by those who love them is to walk with them and mourn with them for as long as it takes. The goodness of God is revealed when believers leave platitudes and expectations behind and help carry some of the weight of grief by simply weeping with those who weep. When the band member who discipled Toby Keith died, Toby poetically wrote from a Body of Christ perspective. He knew where he friend was, and he rejoiced in that. But he wept for the pain it caused to lose his friend in this life: “I’m not crying 'cause I feel so sorry for you, I’m crying for me.” As more information comes out about Robert Morris and some of the elders at Gateway, we must guard against arrogance and gloating. Remember, “We all stumble in many ways.” (James 3:2)
I encourage you to pay attention to this kind of news because it deeply affects our family, the family of God, Jesus’ Church. Not so we can pass judgment. That is not the heart of Jesus. But so we can grieve with the victims and be a part of the solution. The first step is not arrogant judgment. That is not Jesus’ heart. But to open our eyes to the sad state of the “visible” Church and what we are enabling by many of our “methods.” And how by the internet, we are exporting these non biblical methods to the rest of the world. Our hearts should ache for the victims, for the church staff and members, and yes, for Robert and his family. If we don't, then we should examine ourselves for hypocrisy and a serious lack of love. Other leaders interviewed have said we should extend grace to leaders who “fall.” I know we are sincere, but I think this misunderstanding of grace may play a part in our problem. We can and should give mercy when each of us fails. But we cannot give grace. It’s not ours to give. Since grace is the power of Jesus living in us, transforming us from the inside, only God can give grace. And He can only give it to us when we humble ourselves. 1 Peter 5:5- “God must resist the proud, but He gives grace to the humble.” Hebrews 4:16 - “Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” When our youngest daughter saw the trailer for this movie, she jokingly asked us if we were being paid any royalties for our story being used in film. Since this movement began over 45 years ago, I would like to give my perspective on it as one of so many who lived through it and was changed forever. The “Jesus Revolution” movie is a great movie. This is not a cheesy, idealized Christian movie that leaves you thinking, “Does anyone really live and talk like that?” Compared to other movies, it was very well done. For believers, it carries a very moving message about God doing what He wants, when He wants, with whom He wants. And just like the people we love from Scripture, the Jesus Revolution was glorious, life-changing, and messy. Since it was taken from Greg Laurie’s book of the same name, Jesus Revolution focuses on what happened in Southern California. Because Linda and I were there, and in many other places where this was happening simultaneously, I think it is important to know that this same thing was happening in over two dozen cities/regions across the country at the same time, including the first Asbury outpouring in 1970. But there were no cell phones, internet, social media or 24-hour news channels. None of us knew it was happening in other places. Up and down both coasts. Throughout the Midwest. Even Alaska. Later, we found that it was also happening in several European countries. As people felt led to travel, news spread quickly that we were not alone in what we were experiencing but that it was indeed becoming a worldwide movement. This is what Billy Graham saw and caused him to declare, “This is truly a Jesus revolution!” I was the “house pastor” of Harmony House, a Jesus commune in Illinois, when I was only 18 in 1968. A business man had a radical “Damascus road” encounter with Jesus and opened his house every night to any who wanted to talk about the Lord. Soon the house was packed every night with “hippies,” rich kids, runaways, and nerds. The large basement was turned into tiny bedrooms and many of us moved in. We started King’s Training Center in 1971 to teach many of these passionate “Jesus Freaks.” Many of those young people became ministers and have now spent their lives as pastors and missionaries. Now we are all old. Linda and I wept in several parts of the Jesus Revolution as deeply moving memories flooded back. Our band, the King’s Children, played and ministered in that big Calvary Chapel tent and dozens of “Christian coffeehouses” as we traveled around the country in painted “Jesus buses.” Lighterside of Darkness, The Fishnet, Fire Escape, Agape House, His Place, His House, Resurrection House, Love Inn, Potter’s House, and hundreds more in small towns and large cities. -RACISM IN THE FIRST CENTURY CHURCH-
First century Jewish believers were “Spirit-filled,” yet they were still so racist, they refused to share the Gospel with Gentiles for over 10 YEARS after Pentecost! The apostles were still fighting about whether Gentiles could be saved in Acts 15, a dozen years after Jesus said “Go to the whole world.” They didn’t “go,” they were pushed out by persecution. (Acts 8:1) Clearly weaknesses like these and the tendency to categorize people, even Christians, hadn't changed much by the time hippies came off the street and flooded into churches in the 70s and it still exists today. We should be eternally grateful that we have a “High priest who understands our weaknesses.” (Heb. 4:15) Because we all have them! -LONNIE FRISBEE- Lonnie Frisbee played a major role in the movie, as well he should. Lonnie was very important in Southern California during those early days. He was a sincere, naive young hippie who, in his simplicity, was used by the Lord in far more amazing ways than portrayed in the movie. And, he struggled with weakness, just like Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, Paul and all of us, if we will admit it. Lonnie was not only used by the Lord, he was used by many leaders but fathered by none. It is sadly true that he was “used up and thrown away.” Though he was very instrumental in the starting of Calvary Chapel churches, Vineyard, and several other church networks in Europe and Africa, virtually all of them refused to acknowledge his contribution and literally wrote him out of their official history. When given the chance to mention Lonnie’s huge contribution to the Vineyard churches in his book “Power Evangelism” John Wimber refers to Lonnie as simply ”a young man.” Nothing more. These leaders were not bad people. They just all had their weaknesses and one of them was pride. They didn’t want to be embarrassed by Lonnie’s weakness. You wouldn’t know it from the movie but Chuck Smith had a son who was also a pastor but didn’t agree with how Lonnie was treated. So they just didn’t put his character in the movie. For a much better understanding of Lonnie’s impact and struggles, you might want to watch, “Lonnie Frisbee- the Life and Death of a Hippie Preacher.” He was more committed to Jesus than many gifted people but he never, ever used his gifting to get money like so many others. And, he struggled with a weakness, a sin, that even today, many believers view as far worse than their own weakness. His struggle with same-sex desires was a continual battle until he went to be with Jesus in 1993. Lonnie died from aids. None of this detracts from the powerful impact of the movie!! It makes it far more real. And it should help us all understand that God uses people just like us, with all our different hang ups and weaknesses. Life should be all about Him and the movie makes that very clear. “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” 2 Cor 4:7 The Goal? RELATIONSHIP
The Result? TRANSFORMATION! When Jesus spoke to the woman at the well in John 4, He knew about her 5 ex-husbands and live-in boyfriend. These things were considered far worse in the first century than they are now. But He didn’t demand that she change her bad behavior. He spoke to her about the Father, His love for her and His desire to have a real relationship with her. Apparently He knew that if she came into real relationship with the Father, He would deal with her destructive behavior. The eternal issue has always been coming into relationship with the Father who loves the whole world and putting our trust in His life-changing power! The Goal? Relationship! The Result? Transformation! As believers living in a world of seemingly constant turmoil, how should we feel and what should we do? First, learn from history. Far, far worse things have happened and the Church of Jesus has continued to advance. Second, do not get your interpretation of biblical prophesy from the daily news. People who do have ALWAYS been wrong. And if you could, what good would it do? It wouldn’t change a thing. Third, pray for peace. Last, and most importantly, take your cue from Jesus and His disciples. After detailing the terrible things that were coming after He left, (Matt 24) Jesus said two very important things to His disciples. —“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 —“Matthew 28:18-20 NIV [18] … “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. [19] Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, [20] and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." OUR MISSION HAS NOT CHANGED: Live in His peace and make disciples!! This is a photo of our oldest daughter Lori. Her company, JustAnswer.com, has a large division in Ukraine and part of Lori's job is to manage a team of direct reports there. She has traveled to Ukraine and bonded deeply with these amazing people. JustAnswer has been paying and coordinating to move any of their employees out of the war zones in Kyiv and Lviv to safer areas or out of Ukraine entirely. But most have chosen to stay and fight. We are both heartbroken that they have to make this choice at all and yet we are in awe of their strength and bravery. Our 5 year old granddaughter, Alli, standing in front of the Ukrainian flag she painted, and wearing a traditional Vyshyvanka Lori brought back from Lviv. Vyshyvanka is a symbol of independence, history and culture for the Ukrainian people.
I recently received the following question from our AskMark page:
As human beings we are born into sin nature and will sin within our lifetime. Once being born again we are then free from sin and have triumph over sin and death. Paul in Romans chapter 6:11-14 goes on to even talk about how sin should no longer be our master... the ultimate question I have is this... is a sinless life once being born again and not of our own strength what we should ultimately strive for? Since Jesus lived a perfect sinless life and we are instructed to try and become more like His image? My Response: Thank you asking this as it is a common question among passionate believers. It’s also the area that brings the most condemnation because it deals with one of the many subjects that are best defined by the phrase “Already, but not yet.” For example, many verses say- we have been saved, we are being saved, and we will be saved. We have been made blameless in Christ and we will be made blameless at His coming. We have been made perfect and we are being perfected, etc. God can speak this way because He sees us already done AND He sees us in the process of this life. (See Hebrews 4:13-16) First, we must get our definitions right so that we mean what they meant... Several people have written us in our AskMark page asking if we believe this current crisis is God’s judgment for the increasing evil in our nation. Mark responds with insight into judgment and God’s patience. MARK’S RESPONSE- I greatly appreciate your questions, especially at this trying time in our current (and temporary) situation. I grieve over our lack of understanding, as believers, of God’s great patience and the purpose of it. How quick we are to look at troubling circumstances as God’s punishment for evil, even hope for it. The early church went through far, far worst circumstances under the iron-fisted rule of Rome and some believed that God was “late” in sending His judgment upon the evil empire. Peter wrote to correct their view of judgment and patience: 2 Peter 3:3-4- First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4 They will say, "Where is this 'coming' he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation." Peter goes on to explain the reason for God’s patience: While driving through the Ozarks for a rare day of fly fishing on my favorite trout stream, I read this on a church sign:
“Search God's Word for Promises that Match Your Requests; and then Remind Him of What He Promised.” I probably should have just kept my mind on the prospect of a great day on the trout stream, but I seem to be powerless to overlook my tendency to read things some people say about God and His word, and then think to myself, “Huh?” Is this really how we are supposed to feed ourselves on God's living, life-giving Word? Are we really supposed to decide all the things we would like for God to give us and then look for out-of-context "proof texts" to justify our asking for them? Is it wise for me to think of myself as the one who should be reminding the Sovereign God of what I think He has “promised”? Does He have a memory problem such that He needs us to remind Him of what He inspired people to write in His name?? “God, will you please create in me a clean heart?”
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AuthorMark Drake is an internationally known author, teacher and leader. He focuses on equipping leaders around the world in New Covenant Grace. Archives
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